a question in ethics
by nosastras
Summary: Ryder shares a few unethical emails with her favorite reporter. [Keri T'Vessa/Female Ryder]


_**AN:**_ So... I'm romancing Keri in my play-through, and wrote this short 2k one-shot because like, if I can't flirt with her on the tempest, then I'll flirt with her via email. Short, sweet, and poorly revised.

* * *

She said she loved the ocean, Ryder recalled, opting to take an opportunity that came as a shot in the dark during an interview with Keri T'Vessa, local Nexus reporter. Keri smiled when she said it, like she was drawing from a memory that persisted even after 600 years of sleep and fourteen months of dwindling hope. _The ocean_ , Ryder repeated mentally, and for a second wondered if SAM could hear it. She was used to playing her thoughts in silence, reacting to SAM's private channel chatter in ways that she knew only they would understand but still relieved when her private thoughts remained private.

When they first arrived on Aya, Suvi mentioned beautiful landscapes, vast forests and shimmering ocean waves that elicited a similar thought as they did now, upon her return, about T'Vessa and her admitted love for sailing. She wondered what Keri would think of the vast expanses that held the promise of seaside views and warms breezes under the glimmering stars in a dreamy sky. Even as she stood among angaran crowds, their city bustling with activity and energy, Ryder wondered how Keri would feel if they were standing side by side, admiring the angaran city around her, while Ryder silently admired her. Both garnered the same result, a warm sense of quiet resonating joy between the them—and maybe even hand holding.

What harped on her thoughts about Keri, initially, was her inability to gage if her interest was mutual. Though she remained professional in her regards and honest in her answers to Keri's questions, it was when she tried to show subtle interest by sneaking in a personal question that Ryder harbored doubt in her ability to project how she felt. It remained to be the reason why she read over Keri's most recent email over in spare moments. The contents held no personal interest or details, but was a simple invitation to speak once again about her first contact efforts with the angarans on their first trip to Aya. Where she would have liked to answer the request immediately the truth of her responsibility as Pathfinder overruled her decision to indulge a visit to the Nexus.

When Ryder finally decided to answer the email at the iced edges of one of Voeld's cliffsides, Ryder keyed in Keri's email information via her omnitool. She sent a short message confirming their next meet titled, _"Whenever you like"._ After it sent, Ryder turned on heel to return to the Nomad, the course set and planned to the Tempest for a short trip to the Nexus before returning to Aya.

When they did talk, it turned into a game of trial and error, where she sought voice her interest subtly into the answers she fed when the opportunity presented itself. Only one question bred the opportunity and her answer garnered a short, and maybe even a little flustered moment on Keri's part. Enough so that at the end of their interview she made it clear that she picked up on Ryder's latent interest. Of course, it was met with personal battles of maintaining a professional and ethical relationship during the extent of her documentary, with the hopes of something more afterwards. With Ryder promising to devote patience for her and what could be between them, she left the Nexus elated.

Even with that in mind, Keri persisted as a common passing thought that grated on the very same patience she promised to devote.

To that realization, Ryder opened her omnitool, brought up her email to send a new one of her own with Keri as a recipient and titled " _A Question in Ethics_ ".

 _I hope I'm not disturbing any important documentary business_ , she started but decided to delete and retype, _I've got a question about ethics_ , only to, again, give it the same treatment as the first attempt. A few more tries later and she finally decided on, _title says it all, do you mind if I ask?_

Keri replied a few moments later, her message reading, _it's not often I'm on the receiving end of questions, but I'm always willing to try something new. Ask away, Pathfinder._

Ryder was sure to double check her finished message multiple times, reading over each word carefully. _Ethically, we aren't allowed to be involved until you finish your documentary, but if I decided to devote time to ask you how you're doing, as a professional friend, would that be considered unethical?_

By the time she hit send, her attention was stolen to discuss a few trading opportunities between the Nexus and Aya. While she played diplomat for Nexus Leadership, her omnitool chimed with a new email mid-conversation, posing as a distraction. She wanted to urge the conversations along, but thought better of it, knowing that it would break the growing professionalism between her and Aya's leaders. When they finally finished, Ryder checked her omnitool as she exited the resistance building.

 _Yes, very. But I'm doing fine, butting heads with a few colonists, but that's nothing new. Now I have a question for you, off the record and probably unethical._

Ryder grinned, shot back a simple, _Ask away_ , as a reply.

Keri's quick response, as she walked the streets of Aya read _, how unethical do you think it would be if I told you that I appreciate you asking and that I am insanely curious about your answer to the same question: How are you doing?_

Ryder felt her grin unwavering as she read the message, taking a moment simply to let the moment of joy last. Before replying, she decided to embark back on the Tempest; though they decided to stay docked until the next day, she decided to occupy some of her time completing some preparations. The only appeal to the task that she normally procrastinated was the privacy that came with it. _It is completely unethical_ , she wrote back, _but it's been an interesting day, though, everyday seems to feel that way. And I thought of another question, if you don't mind._

 _I can only imagine_ , Keri's email read, _and I'll only allow it if it's unethical, you've hit a streak and I don't feel inclined to break it._

"Pathfinder." SAM's voice pulling her attention from the empty text box of her next email, "Lexi has requested to see you in the med bay."

"Let her know I'll be there in a bit." Ryder replied, her focus back on the blinking cursor, waiting for keystrokes to bring it back to action. Ryder typed her message out, sent it off and closed out her omnitool to make her trek towards the med bay.

[ — ]

 _What do you like about the ocean?_

Keri read the message, giving her pause. Ryder's initial email came as a welcomed surprise to a day that seemed to play like the others: Tann talked off her ear about the media's responsibilities and something about promoting a positive atmosphere, a few colonists resenting the intrusiveness of her questions and investigations, and another unsurprising run in with a couple of Kandros' militiamen with the same "warning" they passed her.

To have the end of her day come to having a Ryder's emails be a highlight was something she didn't expect but was happy to have. To that, she settled against her apartment's divan, choosing to tuck herself into the edge to partially lean into the armrest.

 _I like it because_ , she started but choosing to delete it, feeling as though it was an over simplified thought. After a few more tries and do-overs Keri realized that she wanted to impress Ryder; her goal set to send something that could be considered poetic if worded correctly. Keri never considered herself poetically inclined, preferring facts over metaphors. So, she decidedly went back to her original try, and chose to answer frankly.

 _I love how soothing it can be, the sound of the waves feel repetitive but still unique somehow. You know, when I used to go sailing, sometimes it was as if the ocean had moods and showed it in the way the waves crashed or the wind pushing or pulled against your sails. It was invigorating, like it was another person testing you, trying to get to know you by how you reacted to it. Honestly, it sounds a little silly now that I've written it down, but I don't know any other way to explain it._

After she sent the message, she suddenly felt nervous as the seconds ticked on wondering how Ryder would react to it. When she turned to re-reading her own message, she hoped it didn't come off as pompous or bourgeois as the child of two well off ambassadors tended to be.

Keri hadn't realized the extent of their influence on her life until they decided to sever ties; something like sailing was apparently reserved for the higher class at times, treated as a one-time vacation event for the average citizen rather than a recurring recreational activity. It was one of the first initial thoughts she held when she was disowned, the realities of a life without her parents' fortune footing the bill not as shocking as she expected, but enough to motivate herself to excel in her newfound love, investigative journalism.

Keri wondered what her parents would have thought about her joining the initiative. She left behind her parents and siblings without a word or goodbye, unsure if it would sour moods, or cause relief. For all she did to T'Vessa name she was almost sure that they would be happier without her there to burn their political bridges.

After a few more moments with no response from Ryder, Keri decided on a singular glass of wine before preparing for bed. The terminal screen in her apartment playing some repetitive movie hosted by the Nexus—not a Blasto movie this time around—acted as a form of entertainment for the night.

She finished her glass before the movie ended, retreating to her bedroom to change. When her omnitool chimed, she read the sender of her newly received email as Ryder.

 _That was beautiful, I've never thought of it that way. Maybe I'll get to take you to one someday, might even try my hand at sailing._

Keri smiled at the thought of standing on a Sandy Beach with Ryder at her side. Ryder, initially, came off as distant personally, every interaction holding rumors of professionalism between her and the constituents of the Nexus. Even with her Ryder proved to hold composure with every answer she gave. To picture Ryder standing with her toes in the sand on Nevos' beach alongside her felt dangerously out of character but equally interesting.

Keri finished settling into bed before deciding to reply to Ryder's message before going to sleep.

[ — ]

 _As unethical (and amusing) as that sounds Pathfinder, I would like that. A lot._

Ryder saved the message, read it over before she initially received it and repeatedly up until when she prepared for the next awaiting mission and days after. Helmet tucked under arm, Ryder couldn't help but reread the message a few times over, not knowing exactly how to reply after sharing her admittance of hopes embedded in the idea that she would succeed in her efforts to resuscitate Heleus' terraforming network.

It was funny, she thought, after reading Keri's message about the ocean that she invested sometime into her own personal audio recordings of oceanic sounds. Where she often found the low hum of the Tempest soothing enough, the sounds of crashing waves solicited the same effect at near quiet volumes.

But before she and her team decided to touch ground she wrote one short message in the hopes that it would encompass how she was feeling and cushion the fact that she hadn't replied in what could be considered nearly a full day cycle. She typed out a few words, deleted them, and tries a few more, but nothing seemed to feel right. With it apparent that everyone was waiting on her word, Ryder typed a short message but decided not to send it.

 _I like you. A lot._


End file.
